There’s a quote about mothering your grief, I like to think of grief like that. How when they die, you have to take care of yourself like you’re an infant. You focus on the basics: eat, sleep, hydrate, clean, repeat. And when it sinks in that they’re gone, it’s like a toddler having big emotions you don’t have the words for or the capacity to understand yet. You deal with the meltdowns as they come. Then time goes on a little more and you’ve grown up some more, and you have more words to describe your feelings now, you’re more prepared for how to deal with the meltdowns when they do come. And the grief doesn’t go away, you have the experience to know how to get yourself through it to the best of your abilities. When many years and decades have gone by, I suppose it’s like your grown-up child calling to check-in every once in a while. The grief is still there, it’s a part of you, but it doesn’t take up the entirety of your home anymore.